If i'm reading your post right, you developing your site locally? using sql express? Then before you move your site to your live host..You'll need to add a portal alias...for example..www.YourSiteName.com via the host settings. It also sounds like you may have mulitple virtual folders on your live server which is okay, you just have to use host headers.
When it comes to IIS it doesn't matter what the actual folder name is...you could name your folder DNN_YourSite within IIS copy your files over, and in your host header you would have www.YourSiteName.com taking all those requests. You would use a DNS entry that points www.YourSiteName.com to the server handling the site and the host header would route the request to the correct virtual directory.
Because you added a portal alias of www.YourSiteName.com via host settings, your DNN instance should work because your DNS, host header and portal alias match up.
If you want to create a back button to a certain page/tab, the easiest way is to navigate to the page within your portal, copy the url that's in the address bar, then go back to page your want to create the link and paste that url.
Hope this helps,
Jerry