Why is it killing you? If it's just a lag for the first request, then don't worry about it. If it's a lag for EVERY request, then you have a problem.
If you do what I recommend and just get the app pool to recycle ONCE per day at 0-dark-thirty (sometime early morning), you should be fine. you could even fine-tune this by automating a page request two minutes after the recycle to make sure that the application is precompiled before it gets hit by any humans.
You should, with the proper hardware, be able to install hundereds of Portals per DNN installation. I'd recommend not installing multiple DNN instances per server, as then you will experience canibalism as the DNN instances compete for resources.